It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
