She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
