These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
