I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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