K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
