as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize