sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
