Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
