she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
