you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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