you mean i was at the winter classic?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
