i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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