well you can't waste a boner
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
