3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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