I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
