I'm lost and stupid without you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize