look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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