if i can run in heels then i can drive
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
