wanna go halves on a baby?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
