I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
