I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
