Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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