she was so not down for the gang bang
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
