We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dick has a subreddit
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
