it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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