Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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