I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
