She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
