plz talk dirty to me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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