Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
