How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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