craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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