P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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