I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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