But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
