We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
