I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
