i would punch a child for taco bell
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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