By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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