this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
