I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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