No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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