If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
