I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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