It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
