i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
