just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize