you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
