no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
