Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How's work?
Spinning.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
