I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
