I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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