DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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