One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
