My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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