8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize