Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
