And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
