Yo dont text me then not text me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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