Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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