Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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