he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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