remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
