ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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