Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
